How Do I Stop Obsessing over My Divorce?

Obsessing over my divorce seemed unavoidable. How could everything have gone so wrong? It was like the earth was moving under my feet.

I tried to make sense of it all. How could I have ended up dealing with divorce?  Why did he do this or that? What should I have done differently?

Adding to the craziness in my head were questions of coping and concerns about the future.  How could I make it through each day? What would my future be? If you’re reading this article you likely know what I mean.

Did I Ever Stop Obsessing over My Divorce?

Yes!  I think it’s important for you to know that.  You can stop obsessing over your divorce too!

It’s important that you decide to believe that you can move your thoughts to a healthier place.  What you believe matters.  Don’t allow yourself to stay stuck obsessing about your divorce forever.

6 Tips to Stop Obsessing over Your Divorce

These points helped me and I believe they will help you as well.

1. Be kind to Yourself.  What seems like obsession may in fact be a normal part of coping. Allow yourself to mentally process your divorce for a while. Dealing with your thoughts and feelings in a healthy way can help you to let go of the past so you can move forward.
2. Let go of the “Why?” Question.  You can ask why until you drive yourself crazy and never get satisfactory answers. Even if you get answers, they will likely never be good enough to make you feel better or to justify your ex’s behavior.  Accepting that is freeing!
3. Be Intentional. Know that you can take charge of your thoughts. Christ promises, “I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.” With time and intent, you can move away from those thoughts that hold you in darkness.
4. Claim a new way of Thinking.  When an obsessive thought occurs, ask yourself what life-giving thought you can choose instead.
5. Practice Gratitude.  When we are thanking God for the good things in our lives, we can’t simultaneously be obsessing over divorce.  Even when circumstances aren’t great, gratitude reminds us that God is an active force in our lives and that he offers us a future and a hope.
6. Get Support.  Whether you seek professional counseling, have an insightful friend or find a support group, having someone to talk with who understands can be a big help. In Peace after Divorce groups you find peers who relate as well as practical and faith-based content to help you move toward a more positive place in your life.

Talk with God

God, I have all these thoughts that just don’t seem to want to go away.  I need help.  Please guide me.  Thank you that I can know you care.  Thank you for promising me a future and a hope.  Help me to find the strategies and the support I need to stop obsessing about my divorce.  Help me let go of the need to know why.  I can’t let my joy depend on that.  Please lead me to joy and peace.  In Jesus’s name I pray.  Amen.

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 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Ecclesiastes 4:8-10