How Do I Make My Spouse Come Back?

Sound Familiar?

I’ve pleaded with him to stop his relationship with the other woman, said Patty. He just won’t. 

She’s left,” said Tom. “I’ve prayed that she would come back. I’ve asked God to make her. She said she needs to find herself. That was a year ago. Now she doesn’t even respond to my texts or calls.

What am I supposed to do? I’ve tried and tried to win him back. He won’t come. I’ve pleaded with God. There’s no more I can do. 

The Conundrum

The conflict between your desire to save your marriage and your spouse’s desire to destroy it is monumental. It hurts beyond words and leaves you in a quandary between your desires and values and your spouse’s decisions.

You’ve prayed without ceasing. You’ve pleaded. You’ve tried everything you can think of to save your marriage. You want your spouse back but that’s not happening.

Suddenly you come face-to-face with the reality that your marriage has ended through no choice of your own. It’s devastating. Your heart still wants him or her back.

What Now?

As hard as it is to accept, you cannot force your spouse to want to make your marriage work. God in his goodness has given each of us the gift of free will. Even God does not force people to act in certain ways. God stands at the door and knocks (Revelation 3:20).

You may hurt to the core and even feel like your life is over but it isn’t because you too have free will and a God who loves you. You can allow your spouse’s choices to cripple you or you can choose to process your pain and seek healing. You are far too valuable to stay stuck in this pain.

There’s hope and here is why. God has equipped you to make healing choices. Seek God with all of your heart and make choices that move you closer to Him as you work through the issues of healing from divorce. He will lift you up in due time. God loves you and will never abandon you.

So, that’s what happens now. God’s grace prevails. God knows the truth of your situation. He knows how hard you tried. God is there to comfort you in your distress and will help you move on with your life.

Talk with God
Father, help me to accept the reality of my situation so that I can start to look forward to the future. Thank you for giving me free will. Please help me to make choices that bring me closer to you and that will help me to heal from divorce. Help me to cast all my anxiety on you knowing that you will lift me up in due time.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. —1 Peter 5:6-7 NIV