Join the Separation & Divorce Christian Community
I Have Exciting News to Share with You!
- Do you want an online place to go where there are other Christians who have experienced, or who are experiencing divorce?
- A place where you can receive Christian encouragement and support?
- A place with tips for getting through separation and divorce and moving on with a new life?
If so, you are Invited to join the Separation & Divorce Christian Community.
This is a community of Christians and seekers who are experiencing or who have experienced separation and divorce. It is a nonjudgmental place for encouragement and support from fellow Christians who understand. Here you will find inspiration, insights, Scriptures, and motivation to heal from divorce and to move on with your life.
Separation and divorce can be very lonely. I encourage you to feel free in this group to reach out for support, vent, share a prayer need, ask a question, or offer a word of encouragement to uplift others.
If you aren’t already on Facebook, you will need to join Facebook first.
I’m Renee Smith Ettline. I started this online group for the same reasons I started After Divorce Ministries, LLC and created the Peace after Divorce Workshop. I’ve traveled the journey from the despair of a failed marriage to a joyful life after divorce. I know it is possible and I want to support you in finding the way. I also want to create a positive Christian environment where you can help each other.
As a closed Facebook group, this group is visible to the public but posts are only visible to members. Be sure to read the group description and pinned post before posting.
I Hope You’ll Join Us!
To join, click this link and then click the Join button
Separation and Divorce Christian Community!
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Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:11
I am struggling with a divorce from my now Ex-Wife (we are both Christians, but we brought past issues into our marriage). I feel that she never knew how much I truly loved her and blamed me for the actions of her Late Husband (who passed several years before we met). She seemed to always be struggling with loss, depression, and guilt over her Late Husband’s death. Even as Christians, we could not seem to meet in the middle and (after seeing 3 different Christian Counselors) we could not make it work. She wanted to leave, I did not want us to get a divorce and believed that GOD would hold us together if we were willing to do the work to stay married. With that, I am not divorced and am struggling greatly with hurt and pain. Your prayers are greatly appreciated. Thank you and GOD bless you!
Terry thanks for posting. I’m sorry you are struggling with hurt and pain. You’ve hit on important points. First, your experience highlights how important it is to work through old hurts before getting married again. It sounds like your wife carried old hurts into your marriage in a way that sabotaged your relationship. In my book, Peace after Divorce, I call those old hurts ghosts because they will haunt you and your future relationships if ignored.
Second, I agree with you in that God will hold a marriage together if BOTH partners are willing to do the work. I’m a great believer in God’s love, power, and faithfulness. If two people are working on their marriage and praying for help God will show up in a big way.
God in his greatness has also given us free will. It’s a tremendous gift in that it allows us to become his children rather than his slaves. God’s Word makes it clear that He intends for marriage to be for life yet He honors his gift of free will to people. It sounds like your wife is exercising her free will to end your marriage. I think you would benefit from reading Peace after Divorce to help you cope with the losses and heal the pain. You also want to be sure you don’t now carry your own ghosts into your future.
Third, do be clear that even though God hates divorce, he does not hate divorced people. He is close to the brokenhearted. God knows the havoc divorce brings. That he does hate divorce reflects his love for us. He feels your pain and cares. Being divorced does not mean you are a second-rate Christian. God loves you and has a plan for you for good.
May God richly bless you and bring you peace.
Renee Smith Ettline
Jeffery, please join the Separation & Divorce Christian Community.
I’ve just recently gone through the divorce process with my ex.
We were not happily married and had 3 boys now young adults.
I was in an abusive relationship that the boys carried on.
My ex left me for someone else and gave me the papers a month later.
I’m a new Christian and need some advice to help defeat the depression that rears its ugly head.
Two of the three boys live with him.
To give you a little more.. I was treated like a daughter instead of a wife and a sister to the boys.
Thank you for this book.
I am sharing it with my friends after I can purchase it myself.
Your situation sounds so much like mine! Is there a way we could talk?
Rebecca, Thanks for writing. People generally either grow closer to God or push him away in anger when they are dealing with divorce. I’m glad you are leaning into God for his guidance and support. God loves you very much and he is close to the brokenhearted.
I’m not sure which book you are referring to but I hope you downloaded the free 5 Keys to Healing from Divorce book. I hope you also work through my book Peace after Divorce as it will give you Christian and practical support for healing from divorce. Divorce often makes people feel down and blue. You can move past this! There’s hope. (If your depression is such that you need help from a doctor, please get it!)
I have pending divorce from husband with borderline personality disorder
It’s been 12 years difficult 12 years. I am feeling so many things. Im saved but he is only interested in attending Sunday service and no prayer bible study… Was anyone married to BPD – I feel like I’m in A whirlwind – how do you recover from such level of emotional turmoil
Busy life and never trying not to disturb his busy schedule…got in between us. We grew apart. He hated my guy friends. He didn’t trust me. I tried so hard but at some point I gave up. Now, we’re getting divorced. How confused I feel right now is beyond words
Zeena, Divorce is full of confusion. Have you two tried marriage counseling?
This would be a great way to share experiences and perhaps learn that we are not alone. My divorce has already been finalized, so would this still apply to me?
Yes Terry, this group is for both the divorced and the divorcing. And you are right, it is a wonderful group. Please feel free to visit the group page and ask to join.
I’d like to join the group. Is there a cost,??
No this group is free. Just click the join button.
Im in the process of divorce, lonely , needs more prayers and encouragement
Anne, I will pray for you and pass your prayer needs on to our prayer leader. For encouragement, please join my Separation & Divorce Christian Community on Facebook. I also encourage you to read Peace after Divorce and to take the online version of the Peace after Divorce Workshop or attend a Peace after Divorce group near you if there is one. God bless.
Thank you, Renee. This would be a great resource. I was married to a Christian and thought we would be together forever. She surprised me and was doing some very ungodly things during our marriage and later served me with divorce papers. I’ve been divorced for over 2 years, but still struggle with what happened and why. I was very devoted and loved my Wife with all of my heart, but could not help her to change (even after 3 Therapists/Counselors of her choosing). Yes…having a Group to share and exchange info would be a great blessing, thank you!
Thanks for writing Terry. I talk about the “Why?” question in the Peace after Divorce book and workshop. It’s a never ending question that will eat you alive if you let it. I think you may benefit from my post on this topic, If I just knew Why. I hope this helps. –Renee
My husband had an affair, he says it is over and wants to try and work things out. I cannot trust him and I’m afraid of letting him back in the house. I want to file for a legal separation but he is making it very difficult for me because he is not doing his part. Some days he doesn’t answer his phone or texts and I fear he must be with her. I wish he would just let me be so I can move on with my life.
Meri, Infidelity is a Biblical reason for divorce but there are people who reconcile after an affair. That said, I understand your reluctance to let him come home. You’ve been betrayed and not only does that hurt, but you also don’t want to subject yourself to that again. Re-building trust is hard and requires that someone actually repent and prove that over time. If you change your mind and decided to try and reconcile, going to marriage counseling first would be a good idea. It takes work and communication to address marital problems so that they aren’t repeated. Is there a Peace after Divorce group near you? Check here to see. If not, you can talk with your church about offering Peace after Divorce. I think it would help you a lot with support.
It’s difficult to move past the lies and the cheating. I always said that infedility is where I draw the line. Unfortunately, I found out via text messages just three weeks after my wedding that my husband has been having multiple affairs. All I want are answers as to why, what I have done to deserve this, if it is my fault and if there is any way I can forgive him.
I understand the fear of not knowing where they are and what they are doing. Once they have betrayed your trust, it’s so difficult to feel like they would ever be the person you can trust again. I have prayed for answers and guidance but at times feel more lost and confused than ever.
Thank you for sharing. Trust is a difficult thing to rebuild. I don’t believe anyone deserves an unfaithful deceitful spouse. Three weeks after your wedding sounds like he didn’t give your marriage a chance. The problem came with him into your marriage. Couples can make a marriage work after infidelity if the infidelity stops and both are willing to work on the marriage. It’s normal to feel lost and confused given what you’re going through. Please know that God knows your heart. He is close to the brokenhearted and that includes you. He rescues the lost. If there is a Peace after Divorce group near you, please go. If not, get the book as I believe it will help you a lot. God bless you. – Renee