When Divorce Leaves a Lonely Hole in Your Heart

When you’re hurting and lonely there can be a great hunger to fill the void left by your ex. The person you hoped would be there for you isn’t anymore. Yes, it’s lonely and it hurts.

It also creates a danger zone full of pitfalls.

Two Major Pitfalls to Avoid

1. Investing a great deal of energy in wanting someone back who has no intention of returning to you.
2. Believing that finding someone new to love will make everything better.

The first pitfall leaves you stuck when everything about your ex’s behavior says that person has moved on without you and isn’t looking back.

The second leaves you vulnerable because you are looking for another human to help make you whole.

So What about the Hole in Your Heart?

I get it.  The pain is real.  The void in your heart is a challenge.

But, here’s the truth. A new relationship has its best chance of being successful if you first fill the emptiness inside yourself before dating. Otherwise, you carry divorce pain and baggage with you into your new relationship. Not good.

Only God can truly make you whole. Working through the issues of divorce with God’s help is key to filling the void in your life. Then you will feel whole without having a mate. You also won’t add strain to the person you’re involved with by expecting that person to do what only God can do.

Once you reach that point, you will be better able to let go of the burdens of the past. Having someone new in your life will be a joy rather than a need. It’s a much better foundation for a new relationship.

Your word is a lamp to my feet
And a light to my path.

Psalm 119:105 (NASB)