What to Do when Your Spouse Commits Adultery?

What do you do when your spouse is unfaithful? Should you stay or should you divorce? It’s a complicated issue for many.

You know from the Scriptures that infidelity is a just cause for divorce. You also know that divorce is not a must in cases of infidelity. So, how do you decide what to do?

Do you continue to live together as married and act like it didn’t happen? Do you separate and seek counseling while you assess the situation? Do you walk away and file for divorce?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. You have to assess the particulars of your situation and take the issue to God in prayer. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself that may help.

• Does my spouse acknowledge that adultery is not acceptable behavior?
• Is my spouse willing to stop this behavior and never repeat it again?
• Does my spouse’s behavior over time reflect true repentance?

One thing is for sure, just learning to live with ongoing adultery doesn’t make for a healthy Christian marriage. Toughing it out digs deeper wounds. Get help.

• If your spouse is repentant then he or she will be willing to earnestly work on the marriage. Professional marriage counseling is a good start.
• If your partner isn’t willing to go to marriage counseling, you may find personal counseling will help you evaluate your circumstances and make decisions.

Having your spouse cheat on you can crush your sense of self-worth. He or she may even blame you for the affair. The truth is, your spouse  is responsible for his or her own choices.

That your spouse has been unfaithful doesn’t mean you are worth less. It means that person has made a sinful decision. Don’t let someone else’s bad choices steal your self-esteem.

God knows what you’re going through. Take your situation to God in prayer and ask for direction. God loves and values you very much!

…preserve sound judgement and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you….” Proverbs 3:21 NIV

Join Renee’s Online Peer Support Group

If you are dealing with divorce and need peer support you are invited to join the Separation & Divorce Christian Community on Facebook. You need a Facebook account to join.

You can request to join the group HERE. Just click join once you’re on the group page.  NOTE:  If you are new to Facebook, please also let Renee know you have applied to join the group.  You can reach her through our contact us form.  This is important since it helps us to verify you are a real person.

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