Christmas after Divorce

Elvis Presley recorded the classic song Blue Christmas in 1957. That’s a long time ago for a tune that is still on the radio. I imagine you’re familiar with its lyrics of, “I’ll have a blue Christmas without you.” The song hits home for anyone who faces Christmas after divorce.

Christmas highlights our losses and reinforces our sense of loneliness. Christmases impacted by divorce are subject to being blue.

The First Christmas after Divorce

My separation occurred about two weeks before Christmas. I must admit, I felt like decking something but it wasn’t the halls. Anger, rejection, loss, and raw emotions dominated my being.

If that is where you are today I just want to say it is okay to allow yourself to grieve. You can’t force merry. As much as it sounds like a cliché, things will get better. Your Christmases and indeed your life will not always be colored blue.

Coloring Christmas

When I was a child a new box of crayons was one of my favorite things. With a rainbow of colors I could create magic. I could color my world.

Despite the blue overcast that divorce turmoil can add to Christmas, I believe it is possible to add splashes of more joyful and peaceful colors.  It’s not always easy, yet it may be easier than you think because you don’t have to do it alone.  Much of it has to do with what you believe and where you allow your mind to go.

Your reality is what it is.  I’m not trying to make light of your circumstances. God tells us that we will have trouble in this world.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world.”   John 16:33

Did you catch that?  He also tells us that Jesus is the source of peace.

Peace isn’t the lack of troubles, peace is the presence of God.  Focus your thoughts there.  Let go and lay your troubles at the feel of Jesus and he will lead you to peace.

I believe when you do this, God will help you to color your thoughts in a way that brings you more joy and peace. Commit to working with God through this process.

Let me show you what I mean…

Blue Christmas:    My kids are going to be with their other parent and I’m going to be so lonely.
Peaceful Christmas: I’m so glad my children will have a great time with their other parent. It brings me joy to know they have that opportunity. I’ll be okay.

Blue Christmas:    I’m so lonely I think I’ll die.
Peaceful Christmas: I think I’ll go see a friend today and see what her kids got for Christmas.

Blue Christmas:    My losses are so great that I feel like God and everyone else deserted me.
Joyful Christmas: My heart grieves my losses but I have blessings too. What’s truly great is the hope I have because of Jesus.

Blue Christmas:    I feel worthless.
Joyful Christmas: I am a cherished child of God and he sent his son to prove it. I think I’ll treat myself to something good today.

Color Your Christmas

The pain of divorce is real. The circumstances of divorce are real.  But don’t limit yourself to a Christmas all colored in blue.

Give your burdens to God. Do it now. He will help you re-color your world.

Yes, God has a new box of lively colors waiting just for you. You’ll find them in your own heart when you shift your thoughts to him. He loves you!

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.  And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”  Isaiah 9:6 (NIV)

More Help for Dealing with Christmas after Divorce

• Download a FREE copy of Getting through the Holidays

Help for Finding Peace after Divorce

• Start a Peace after Divorce group at your church
• Find a Peace after Divorce group
• Read Renee’s book, Peace after Divorce