Divorce and Fear of the Future

The earth seemed to be moving under my feet as divorce and fear of the future became my reality. There was so much uncertainly. Would I be okay? Could I recover financially?  How would I overcome loneliness? Would I ever be loved again?

I wanted something to cling to that would provide me stability. The road ahead was a mystery to say the least. Fear and anxiety were my constant companions. I was tired of being afraid.

If you’re familiar with these feelings you’re not alone. Fear and anxiety are among the most common emotions of divorce. The unknown is simply scary to most of us. Especially when it replaces any stability we may have found in marriage.

5 Ways to Deal with Divorce Related Fear of the Future

An unknown future is scary but you don’t have to let the monster of fear take over. You can tackle fear head-on. Here are some strategies that help:

1. Get real about the things that scare you. Understanding the risks and opportunities of a scary situation empowers you to avoid dangers and create positive outcomes.
2. Refuse to be paralyzed by fear. Conquering fear means acting in faith even though you’re afraid. When fear overrides faith, suffering increases. When faith overrides fear, hope prevails.
3. Look for the possibilities. Accept what you cannot control and prayerfully develop positive action plans for minimizing fears where you can. Fear sees the danger in the unknown. Faith in God sees the possibilities in the unknown.
4. Choose faith. Faith allows you to look at what scares you through eyes that believe that God is guarding over you. Faith says the fear you are facing is powerless against the might of your Holy Father.
5. Replace anxiety by talking with God. Thank him for your blessings. Pour out your heart about your anxieties. Trust him for your solutions. Listen constantly for direction. When worry, fear, and anxiety meet prayer, they subside.

Don’t Let Fear Win

It strikes me that when God made a covenant with Abraham, he promised him many blessings. But, those blessings were contingent on Abraham heading out to an unknown land.  God told him to go to the “land I will show you.” (Genesis 12:1)

Wow.  Now that’s a way to tackle an unknown future!  What faith Abraham had to just start walking not knowing where he was going.

There’s some parallel here to your need to head into an uncertain future knowing that even though you are afraid, God will show you your next steps each day. Once day at a time, he will move you to a better place.  You do not have to live in fear.

Yes, your fear may be big, but your God is bigger and mightier!

So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 NIV

What step can you take today to reduce the power of fear in your life?

Please leave a comment below about how you are handling the fears caused by divorce.

Get Help!  Click a Green Link Below:

• Join a Peace after Divorce group near you
• Order the book Peace after Divorce and walk through activities that help
• Start a Peace after Divorce Support Group at your church