Are you wondering if it’s possible to rebuild your self-esteem after divorce?
In a word, yes!
Let’s face it, when your spouse leaves you, neglects you, or abuses you, or chooses an addiction over you, it’s understandable to feel unwanted, under appreciated, and devalued. Who wouldn’t?
Or, maybe your experiences were more subtle. Perhaps yours is a story with a long fading loss of love and attention. Whatever the specifics, rejection is a tough pill to swallow. Understandably, any of these experiences can leave you questioning your own self-esteem.
Let me set the record straight…you are far more valuable than you know!
If you find yourself needing to rebuild your self-esteem after divorce, you’re not alone. In fact, it often takes time and intent to overcome the depth of rejection that occurs when you’re rejected by the very person you’ve pledged to spend your life with.
But, hear this, you’re not less than. You’re not junk. And, you’re not unworthy. Don’t accept those labels even in your own head.
Let me tell you right now that your worth is not determined by the actions of another person.
“That someone no longer loves you does not mean that you are not lovable. That someone no longer values you does not mean that you are not valuable. The God of all creation loves and values you very much.”
…From my book, Peace After Divorce
Believe it. You are valuable. Believe in yourself.
In fact, knowing you are worthy is fundamental to healing from divorce. A strong self-esteem reduces your neediness and helps you set boundaries for how you allow others to treat you. It reminds you that you are indeed a treasure of a person.
Now is the time to work on your own mindset about yourself. Knowing that God treasures you helps you start to treasure yourself more. You are a child of the Most High. Never ever let any human convince you that you are anything less!
Set Your Thoughts on These 4 Key Points
Repeat these four concepts to yourself daily as you work to rebuild your self-esteem after divorce:
- My worth is not determined by the words or actions of another human being.
- I have the power to build my self-esteem and not let another person make me feel less than.
- I can root my self-esteem in the fact that the God of all the universe says I am valuable. God loves me.
- By valuing myself as a person I can enhance my ability to cope with and heal from divorce.
Words of Encouragement
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? 1 Corinthians 3:16
Talk with God
Hi God, it’s me. I want to feel better about myself. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else will ever love me again. I even wonder at times if you still love me. But, I know deep in my heart that you want to set me free of these negative thoughts. You want so much more for me. So, please let me feel your love. Fill my heart with your Spirit so that I can know my worth. Give me strength to stand tall in your love. In Jesus name. Amen.
Need support to help you understand your value to God?
Want to know that God still loves you and will help you to heal from divorce?
Searching for specific steps you can take to better cope with and heal from divorce?
Get Help and Learn to Feel Better about Yourself
Get group support in your community.
Ask your church to start a group or lead a group yourself.
Get step-by-step help from the book, Peace after Divorce.