Are you looking for peace after divorce but realize that the emotions of divorce have you feeling paralyzed? When that sense of immobility sets in it can be hard to know where to turn. You can feel stuck.
Sandra tells us her story and cites some pretty important points she’s learned about getting unstuck. With her permission, I thought I’d use today’s post to share her comments.
Here’s what Sandra says…
“I definitely benefited from the Peace after Divorce Support Group. Before attending the workshop I felt paralyzed – like I could not move forward – like I was in quicksand.
After reading the first chapter of the book, Peace after Divorce, I had to face the reality of my situation. I was in the middle of a divorce.
This was very hard for me to swallow – especially since I did not want a divorce. Your book states (and I believe it) that you cannot begin the healing process until you face your reality. The second chapter discussed the free will that God has given to each of us.
The divorce is coming about because of choices that my husband has made. I cannot change them – nor can I change him.
I cannot make him want to go to counseling or work to save the marriage or love me or come back to me. Once I wrapped my head around this truth, I no longer dwell on thinking that I could have in some way made the situation different. I understand that we are in this position because we each have free will to do and live and make choices that affect other people.
I can only be responsible for my choices and how I allow his choices to affect me.
I am doing much better after attending Peace after Divorce at a local church. This is due to a combination of the Peace after Divorce group and book, my counseling sessions with my wonderful Christian counselor, the prayers of family and friends, and ultimately the power and grace of God. I am so very thankful to Renee Ettline for seeing a need and for writing the divorce recovery book, Peace after Divorce, to help me and others on this sad journey through divorce.”
Sandra cites these three important foundations for finding peace after divorce:
- Acceptance of the reality of your situation is the first step toward healing.
- You can’t change your ex or soon-to-be ex, you only have control over your own behavior.
- Shifting your thoughts from the past to your own healing is critical.
Your Next Steps
Coping with divorce and healing from divorce is a journey. These three foundations start you on your way. For more detailed help, find a Peace after Divorce group near you or order the book Peace after Divorce today.
Talk with God
God, divorce has left me feeling somewhat stuck. If I can still save my marriage, please help me to do that. If it’s time for me to let go and accept divorce as my reality, please help me to do that. It’s hard. Give me discernment to know the difference. Help me to grasp that I cannot control my ex. Empower me with your wisdom to choose behaviors and thoughts that help me heal. Guide me as I seek the help I need to move forward in my life. In Jesus name, Amen.
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7 NLV
To learn more about Peace after Divorce, click the appropriate link below
Can’t find a group in your community? Ask your church to start a group.