Five Steps to Healing the Heartfelt Guilt of Divorce

… let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.
Hebrews 10:21-23 (NLT)

“I cannot get over the thought that I should have been able to save my marriage.”
“If only I could take back the words I said.”
“My heart aches because of what I did.”

Are you burdened by a heart-felt guilt? Do you beat yourself up mentally with regrets over your own actions or lack of actions? Do you feel guilty because your marriage fell short of God’s plan?

Heal the Guilt of Divorce

Identify the Cause of Your Guilt
Be specific. Have you been unfaithful? Have you neglected your spouse? Have you been abusive? Did you abandon your spouse? Are you feeling guilty because you couldn’t win back someone who walked out of your marriage? Did you say things you regret?

Focus on the Promise
God knows why you feel guilty and he wants to help you with that. You can choose to live in condemnation but why would you?

In him (Christ) we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight. Ephesians 1:7-8 (ESV)

Ask for and Accept God’s Forgiveness
Ask for forgiveness for the specific things that are the source of your guilt.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (NKJV)

Divorce is not God’s will but neither does it negate his grace.

Failure to accept God’s forgiveness is to suggest that Jesus died in vain. God already offers you forgiveness. He wants you to accept his offer.

(From the book, Peace After Divorce)

Forgive Yourself
Once you’ve turned your guilt over to God and asked for his forgiveness, it’s time to forgive yourself. This may take repeated effort. But here’s the deal…

Focusing on your guilt after God has forgiven you is a waste of time–you’re paying a price that has already been paid.

Shift Your Focus from Guilt to What You Have Learned
Forgiveness doesn’t take away the consequences of the choices we have made. Even so, God can use our mistakes to build our character and faith. Ask God what he wants you to learn from your experiences. Shift your thoughts of guilt to thoughts of faith in God’s redeeming love and guidance. Seek the blessings he has in store for your new forgiven life in Christ.

Talk with God

Healing from divorce is possible. Reflect on your divorce and the five steps above. Talk with God on a very personal level telling him what is causing you guilt. Ask for his forgiveness today.

Resources to Help You:
Download Renee’s FREE eBook, Five Keys to Healing from Divorce
Request on the top right of this page

Read Renee’s Award-Winning Book, Peace After Divorce
Selected as an Exemplary Christian Self-Help Book by the Illumination Book Awards, Peace After Divorce inspires with reassuring Scriptures while walking you through steps that support healing from divorce and moving to a positive new life.