Divorce left me wondering, how can I get over an ex who hurt me deeply? Can I ever let go of the painful memories? I think I had a deep fear that the pain would weigh down my heart forever.
Do you wonder the same?
When Being Done Wrong Still Hurts
The truth of what happened that led to your divorce can be hard to accept. Feelings of being done wrong can be overwhelming. They may seem to seep into your every thought or blind side you when you think you’re doing okay.
One of the hard things about divorce is coming to terms with the truth of the situation and not letting it make you bitter for the rest of your life. It is normal to get angry, to feel hurt, and even to feel resentment when you’ve been hurt or deceived. And, it’s normal to blame those you feel are responsible for your hurt. Those emotions are a part of the “human” that God puts in us.
For a while those emotions help us to protect ourselves from further hurt. They cause us to be cautious. They can help us to process our reality. We need to allow ourselves to feel those feelings and then to work through those feelings so that we can get past them.
The Done-Wrong Cycle
Yet, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of blame when you hurt from how you’ve been treated. But, if you continue to focus your thoughts on how you’ve been done wrong, you feed your own anger. When you feed your anger, you become more victimized and increasingly unhappy. It can become a seemingly never-ending cycle.
A Better Way
The challenge is to experience and process your emotions without getting stuck. Why ruin your own life with anger, blame, and frustration because of someone else?
If you stay stuck in anger and blame you are allowing your ex to continue to hurt you. Why would you do that?
4 Ways to Start to Get Over an Ex Who Hurt You Deeply
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings but not dwell in them.
- Realize how thoughts that cause you to relive your pain are self-sabotaging.
- Decide that you want to refocus your thoughts so that you don’t live in hurt forever.
- Identify and take the steps needed to redirect your thoughts to your own growth.
Yes, it hurts to have been done wrong. There’s no doubt about it. Yet, you can make a choice to feel your emotions, work through them, and then move past them.
Life is too short to continue to live it in a state of done wrong.
Yes, I want to Get Over an Ex Who Hurt Me Deeply
Deciding to let go of done-wrong feelings is a choice you can make right now. But, learning to actually refocus your thoughts everyday can take time. If you need guidance and support for coping with divorce and finding life after divorce, consider the resources below.
A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all…
Psalm 34:19 NIV
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