A Reader Shares Her Story
Divorce is lonely. Reaching out to support one another is important. Knowing you’re not alone in your experiences helps. Furthermore, hearing from others who have found strength and joy after divorce can give you hope. These are the reasons we offer readers a chance to tell their story. Please feel free to offer words of support to the person who shared this story by leaving a comment below this post. To share your story, click the “Share Your Story” button on the right of this page.
Usually the Strong One
“I’ll try to condense this story as much as possible. My now ex-husband and I separated in 2012. I chose to go that route because he was taking our monies and gambling it away, was very disrespectful to me, cursing me in front of our then three year old daughter, staying out all night, refusing to attend counseling, and refusing to land a job.
I was so depressed during our marriage that I actually contemplating ending mine and my daughters lives. Years before, I’d suffered physical abuse from this man and stayed in an attempt to work things out. But, once my daughter was born and God revealed to me who He intended my husband and child to be but my husband wasn’t living up to his end of the deal, we separated.
During our separation, my then husband said he didn’t have the energy to fight for our marriage and was willing to just let it go. Once I’d learned that he’d moved out of state and moved in with his now girlfriend, I was clear to divorce him because of his infidelity. He has lied to me from the moment he relocated and refuses to admit that he is not only in a relationship but living with this individual.
We are not enemies but I am hurting and even more hurt that he does not care about our now 6 year old daughter who is in love with her Daddy. I’ll admit that once his mother confirmed my suspicion that he actually was in a relationship, it hurt me to my core.
I believe with all of my heart that even with all of his flaws that this man is destined to preach the gospel and because of his decision to abandon that aspect of his life, his entire life has spiraled out of control. I didn’t get married to get divorced and I know what the Lord said about us. Nonetheless, he was not willing to put in the work.
For the sake of my daughter I separated from him. Now with this news of his moving on, and his lack of interest in my daughter, I am more hurt than ever. I know all of the things I’ve gone through with him but I was hopeful until the confirmation of the current woman that we could possibly consider reconciling and remarrying.
I was very lonely in our marriage, but I am even more lonely now attempting to navigate this terrain with my 6-year old who feels that her daddy doesn’t love nor want her and I’m working tirelessly to affirm her and make certain that she does not feel that way; to no avail.
I do not have anyone to share with and I’m usually the strong one for EVERYONE so I cannot be weak and show my weakness, thus my searching out (web) sites like yours. I ask that you all pray for me that God mend my broken heart and wounds.
I pray the same for all of you who are struggling as I am.”
A Word from Renee Ettline…
Thank you for submitting your story for publication on this blog. I’m sure many others relate to where you are in dealing with your situation and divorce. I ask them all to do as I am and pray for you and each other. God hears your prayers and he walks with you through the pain and struggles. In Him there is hope!
Christian Inspiration:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NASB
Someone to Talk With
Having others who understand to talk with when you are going through the issues that come from separation and divorce is important. Many communities have support groups and some are free or very reasonably priced and offered by churches. Groups can help you a lot through shared experiences, mutual support, education and guidance. Consider finding a group in your area or asking your church to start a group.
For information on Peace after Divorce groups, CLICK HERE. Please tell your church that they can offer Peace after Divorce.
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Click the Share Your Story Button in the sidebar on the right side of this page to submit your story.
Resources to Help You…
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I can relate to so much of what you went through, in marriage and in divorce. In all this I can just say that God is not only your Father, but also your Husband (Isaiah 54) and in Him you can find rest and healing and comfort. He’s desire is for you to be whole again. Run into His strong arms and let Him be your Provider, Healer and Helper. He wants to heal your broken heart! For Him you are the most important and prized possession at the moment. He loves, loves, loves you, and your little girl. Even if nothing else makes sense, hold on to that.