Coping with Divorce Anxiety and Stress

Divorce anxiety seemed to loom so large that I lived with my fists clenched. It was one way my body dealt with the tension. I often clinched my fists without even realizing it.

Divorce can do that to you.

A pastor friend noticed one day. He looked at his hands and clenched his fists just as he could see me clinching mine.

You’re not meant to go through life like this,” he said.

Slowly, he lifted his hands and opened his fingers palms up. He looked down at his palms and then up at me.

“Release those troubles to God,” he said. “You don’t have to hold on to them.”

As I opened my hands I realized just how much anxiety was balled up in my clinched muscles. Until then, I’m not sure I fully realized what stress was doing to my body. It was way past time to figure out how to release this anxiety.

But, how could I let go of divorce anxiety when I had every reason to be stressed?

In light of my circumstances, releasing my problems to God just didn’t sound realistic. It was a nice idea. But, could I really do it? I just wasn’t sure.

Later I told my sister what my friend had said. Her reply threw me off guard. “Then I hope you get sunburned palms” she replied. Bewildered at first, it took me a few seconds before her point sank in. Simply opening my clinched palms once wasn’t enough. I need to live a life of upturned palms.

5 Things I Learned about Letting Go of Divorce Anxiety

This simple story had a pretty great impact on my ability to handle anxiety. Here are five things I learned.

1. Pay attention to what your body is telling you about your stress level.
2. Stop several times a day to consciously release stress from your body. It may be through prayer, exercise, deep breathing, or simply opening your clinched hands and intentionally relaxing all the muscles in your body.
3. Talk with insightful friends or family when anxiety starts to get the best of you. You never know what pearls of wisdom they may offer. Plus, sharing your concerns or simply connecting with others can help relieve your stress.  Peace after Divorce support groups can really help as can seeing a professional counselor and going through the Peace After Divorce book.
4. Get Son burned palms. Make it a way of life to give your anxiety to God. His consolation will bring you joy.
5. Repeat as often as needed. Divorce anxiety doesn’t fully go away quickly. Having strategies to cope can really make a difference.

Talk with God

Christ came to lift our burdens. We have to choose to release our grip. Doing so requires that we become intentional about letting go. Talk with God now about your own divorce anxiety.

When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.   When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”  Psalm 94:18-19

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